Networking Tips: Talk about them, not you.

We've all seen it happen, we've probably been a victim of it at some point... we may even been guilty of doing it ourselves - talking about our own business, when we should be asking the other person about theirs.

Everyone likes talking about their business, it's only natural. However, you get some people who will bulldoze their way into the conversation, going on about how fantastic their product or service is and seem like they are trying to brow-beat you into buying from them there and then. It's not polite, it's rude... and it doesn't work!


You can give the other person a much better view of you, if you ask them about their business; ask them what they do, how they got started, what interested them in it, how they enjoy it, how long they've been established, etc. Talk to them about their business and they'll love you for it, and remember you in the future as being a great person.

Now, you might be thinking "Hang on, that's all well and good but I want to sell them my business". But before someone will buy your business they have to buy you! They have to like you, they have to feel comfortable with you, especially if you hope to have a long-term business relationship with them. And you start this process by asking them about themselves.

There's another added bonus about asking them about their business; you can start to subtly ask questions that can give you indications of how you might be able to help them. So, for example, if the person's business means they're on the road a lot, then I might pop in the question "Wow! That must be hard trying to stay in contact with all your callers, etc." I then usually get an indication of how my call answering service might be able to meet their needs:"Oh, yes, I do rely on voicemail or answering machine a lot", or "Well, it's okay, the wife gets the phone when I'm out, but of course, she can't be there all the time, she has to pick up the kids from school, do the shopping, other chores. It's not ideal, but don't know what else to do..." You now have details of how your business can help them and a much higher chance of getting their business, either now, or in the future.

So, listening to the other person and finding out about their business builds up a store of knowledge that you can use. Also listen out for other important information or dates: "Yes, we're really busy. I was hoping to take next Tuesday off as it's my birthday, but I don't think that's going to happen"... imagine how they're going to feel when, next Tuesday, an email pops into their inbox from you, saying "Just thought I'd drop you a quick line to wish you happy birthday. You said you may have to work, but try to have some fun. Catch up soon..." They probably won't even remember mentioning this. (Don't rely on a good memory for this, as soon as you finish talking with the person, jot the details into your pocket book, organiser, or phone.)

If you talk to the other person about their business and about them and if you feel you've really connected (you like the person) then why not drop them a line or give them a call a few days later and meet up for a 3C (coffee, cake and a catch-up)? That's when you can start to introduce your business a bit more to them. You will have had time to think about what they told you about theirs and how you can help them. Of course, it goes without saying you still do this gently. Don't push price-lists into their hands as soon as you've ordered, but if they start mentioning costs, etc., you can say, "Well, I have brought some details with me if you'd like to look". Make sure you have several on you, so they can take a copy away.

When you do talk about your business, you are also able to personalise it to their business. "So, as you're out on the road and your wife can't always answer the phone, we can take the calls for you. You will have peace of mind that they are all being answered, in your business name," the tip here is to actually say their business name, "and as professionally as if you were doing it yourself."